ok, needing some advice here.

[karenor]

alright, after much struggle today, i finally came up with a poem worthy of submitting to class tonight. you can read it, if you like

Mulling

On days like today
when rain is thunking
more than falling,
you’re thinking more than
working and finally
you get to God,
where all decent ponderings go.

Not praying,
‘cause that’s a nighttime thing
when all you have is counting
your heartbeats
and cold fear that they’ll stop
some time--like in sleep--when you’re not
paying attention,
just thinking,

weighing options,
probabilities,
and how frustrating there is no answer
you can know.
No scripture,
no philosopher,
no poem,
no thought
can tell you true.

Damn then,
you think, God
should just be
non-controversially
obvious.



so because i had so much trouble with it, i asked for it to be workshopped in the large group, that is, the whole class. Everyone gets a copy, everyone is invited to make comments verbally, and on their copy which they return to me after we finish workshopping. generally this whole thing is a very positive and enriching experience, you learn the way other people perceive a poem, which is quite usefull. some people have constructive criticism, some people just say "great" which is good too. I've never had anyone be downright mean, hurtful with NOTHING constructive to say who actually returns the poem to me. Sure, i've thought poems i have before me to comment on have been crap before. but i respectfully say nothing, or leave a non commital comment or something.

So, keeping in mind that this is a GRADUATE level class, i got a poem back that had six separate parts of my poem circled (i don't think it matters which ones, and honestly i don't wanna look again). next to each part is written "bullshit" (that is, it's written six times). The title is crossed out and in it's place is written "Preaching" and the lovely comment at the end is (ok, i have to look to get the wording right) "don't buy your 6 axioms". Nice, huh. So you'd think the asshole who wrote the lovely comments would have mind enough to not sign the page and tell me who he is. Well not so. He initialed it. By looking thru the poems of my classmates (we get a copy of everyone's even if we don't workshop them that week) I've found out his name. What's frustrating is that i don't know him. i can't recall him by face. he's never been in a class with me before.

so, i'm understandably (i think) enraged. We workshopped my poem at the end of the night and i didn't get a chance to look at my responses till i got to my friend's house and sorted them out. so i didn't get a chance to talk to the professor about the situation.

so the question is...do i do anything. i mean...i don't wanna go be a tattle tale, cuz then the prof will talk to this student (hollie, if you're reading this it's dean young, do you know him? can you kick his ass for me if you do?) and then...well...things would be awkward. OR she'd tell the whole class about it (in nonspecific whodunnit ways) and that would be just as embarassing for me, cuz he would know i told on him. again, i stress...GRADUATE class. should i tell the prof (via email) about what happened and omit the name of the student and ask what should be done? that's seems like a good course of action. but i'd still feel like i'm tattling, and like i'm in grade school again. should i just do nothing? can i? i have to find out who he is by face so i can glare at him all semester, at least. and write 'asshole' on his poem if we ever workshop it.

but i'm very perterbed (sp?) that this happened at all. My poem is SO not preaching...it's not making any statements at all...and certainly no prescriptions for the way anybody else should live. i realize god is a touchy subject, but COME ON. i can't even tell if this person is religious (christian, i'd imagine) or no religious. it doesn't make any goddamn sense.

so. any advice?

Comments

[alannahrose.livejournal.com]

Okay, so here are my thoughts. I see nothing even slightly "preachy" about your poem. You are not saying "GOD IS THE WAY, YOU MUST ACCEPT HIM" or anything even remotely like that. This guy obviously has some huge chip on his shoulder concerning religion and just the fact that you mentioned God set him off.

First of all, if this guy did not say anything to you in the workshop about what he didn't like about your poem, writing "bullshit" next to each section is ridiculous. It's not criticism, it's his way to lash out at someone who dared to mention God.

Second of all, and this is just me...I would have to confront him. Skip the teacher, I would go up to the guy and probably say, "Hi, I just wanted to introduce myself...and I want to ask you why you wrote "bullshit" all over my poem without giving me any actual criticism." I know that's confrontational, but that's how I am. I don't see what your teacher could do to help really. Either that, or I would talk to the teacher and ask if I could talk to the class about it. Then I would stand up and give a generic overview of what happened; "I was looking through the critiques of my poem the other night and I came across one comment that I need elabouration on..." or something.

I think that's totally ridiculous that he wrote that on your poem with no grounds whatsoever to say something like that. Why the fuck did he have to take out his petty problems on your poem? Especially, like you emphasized, in a GRADUATE level course. WTF? Is all I can say. But yeah, I'd have to confront him. I know you're probably not as aggressive as me, so do whatever you feel you need to. If it starts with writing the teacher an email (and leaving out his initials, which I think would be a good idea), then do that and she what she says.

Fuck him! What a dick.

Re:

[karenor.livejournal.com]

thanks for responding alannah. you're right, of course. the thing to do is confront mister d.y. on my own. you're also correct, however, in assuming i am not a confrontational person. what so ever. i avoid conflicts as much as possible and am horribly shy.

so i won't be going up to him, even tho i know i should. i think i probably will email the teacher, tho. at worst, she'll make a blanket statement to the class. it might show me for a "tattler" but i'm not super concerned with that. he already hates me, apparently...

i don't think i could address the class myself...i mean i 'could'...and i don't need the professors permission to do that. but i don't think i have it in me to go thru with it, without balling. i can't help as think of it as a personal attack...tho i don't even know the guy...

ugh.

Re:

[alannahrose.livejournal.com]

Well yeah, it seems pretty personal to me as well. I would've been pissed as hell (as well as really hurt) which is where I'd get the strength to be so confrontational about it. ;)

Like I said, do whatever you need to do to feel better about it and resolve it for yourself. It's really assholic of that guy to say something so unconstructive and personal for no apparent reason.

I'm sorry that you are dealing with this! Grr.

Lots of love and hugs!

Re:

[karenor.livejournal.com]

thanks alannah. i appreciate your input and your love and hugs too. it would be one thing if the class met every day, but it's only once a week. and the teacher wouldn't even get my email till like tuesday, most likely. arg. i'm gonna have some tea and ruminate...

Re:

[alannahrose.livejournal.com]

Yeah, tea! That's always the start to any solution. Good idea. :)

[about-worth.livejournal.com]

that's idiotic. he obviously has some issues with God. and no way is that preachy at all. does he want preachy? i can give him preachy. no, i have no clue who this dude is. i'm thinking it might be the guy with the gotee, short blondish hair...he asked about workshopping stuff last week, and how it works...obviously he has no clue.

it's sad, actually...if you had written a poem about prostitution, rape, graphic sex acts, gang shootings, drug overdoeses, cross-dressing, wicca activities, etc, you would have receive no slack from anyone, i almost guarantee you. drop the "God" word, and people freak, for some reason. and i know you aren't Christian, but if you had, say, mentioned Jesus Christ instead of Jehovah, then i could justify the guy flipping out. but not on God.

i have a feeling he's been hurt by organized religion. and who hasn't, right?

maybe talk to the prof, i don't know. or write him a note on his poem asking why, like your friend mentioned above.

i'm so sorry that happened. what a creep.

Re:

[karenor.livejournal.com]

i know, this has been bugging me all freakin day and i haven't been able to get any other work done.

is it a mistake to write "god" in a poem. is that an automatic request for other people's displeasure? i mean Cheryl's (i think that's her name) poem right before me mentioned "holy father" and "annointed" and was about raping a nun! i wonder if she got any flack from him.
i mean, how do you get to this level in poetry writing and write comments like that. it's so perplexing.
i still can't picture his face. and if i could, i'd picture me punching him in it.
i think i will email the prof. and see what she says...
thanks for responding, hollie

[sykopoet.livejournal.com]

My first thought was, tell the prof. w/out giving out the guy's name. I was thinking that because these people are supposed to be giving you intelligent helpful criticism and feedback, and this was NOT constructive, it was just mean. The man obviously has some issues with God and/or religion. After reading some of the other comments though, I agree that confrontation is the best coarse of action. It's hard, but you don't have to go up to him and be "WTF Man!!" You can ask him in a reasonable tone why he wrote what he did. Its not constructive if he doesn't tell you WHY he thinks its bullshit. If he is mean/rude at that point, then there might be other reasoning behind you speaking to the prof about it. OR he might give you a reasonable answer which will make you feel better (hopefully), but probably make you very confused. A difficult situation, yes, but I think speaking directly to him is the right first step.

P.S.
Your poem is NOT bullshit. It's wonderful. Being from a "Christian" background, I've read a LOT of flowery, obnoxious, fluff-ridden religious rambling in my life, and this is no way compares to that. Stand up for your writing, because it is definitely worth defending. *hugs* and all

Lisa

Re:

[karenor.livejournal.com]

thanks lisa. the thing is...the poem wasn't even religious at all! i mean i mentioned that i pray cuz i'm afraid of death, which is true...but that's the extent of it. it's about not knowing and finding no certainty.

i know i should talk to him...but i'm such a wuss. i don't think i can. i would just cry. and i hate letting ppl know they have power over me.

Re:

[sykopoet.livejournal.com]

If he has really disturbed you that much, maybe you should talk to the prof? I mean, you could let it go, but it will still bother you. And what happens next time you want something to be workshopped? You'll be dreading it because of this one ignorant person. If you cry as you are talking to him, that's not letting him have power, that's making him feel guilty and shitty. It's a skill that everyone should possess, =).

Re:

[karenor.livejournal.com]

you're right about all of it. i just haven't decided what to do. i hate even thinking about it. i tried to write my prof a letter but it came out sounding like i was a whiny brat. i want to go see her in person, but she doesn't have office hours till wednesday...