i wanted to post last night, but...

I was just too friggin tired. But I've gotten up early this morn (been up for like an hour and ahalf already) cuz i couldn't sleep and figure i'll nap later if there is time before the show tonight.

It's been a while since i've posted right? I can't remember. I said I was done with school, I know that. Yesterday I turned everything in and sold back my books. Done and done. Monday i left my job. I'm FREE! For a little while. Last night was my second show of december. Tonight will be my third. Friday I'm leaving for sandiego and vegas and tempe and not coming back till tuesday. (4th, 5th, and 6th shows of december).

But last night. And I know you wanna hear about last night. It was SOOOOOO great. Alright. I had pit tickets to the universal ampitheater. If you know anything about the venue, and i'm assuming no one reading this does, you know it has a HUGE pit, and there is furious competition for the prime spots. So i got to the place about 4 oclock in the afternoon, and was only lik 5th in line for the pit. I was the first of the Toad posse to get there and everyone trickled in over the next two hours or so. As it got closer to the time when they open the gates to the hill up to the venue, the line became a mob. Also they said they would open at 7:30, so at about 10 to 7 a bunch of our group (not me tho) went and got food. Turns out they opened at 7. But they didn't open the actual doors in to the seating area till 7:30. whatever. point is, they opened early, and this whole big mob of people went running up the hill while some ppl in line were screaming at them that there was a line and everything. i'm not one who runs. in fact i do it as seldom as humanly possible, but i was sprinting up that damn hill, because i WAS in line, and dammit deserved to be on that friggin rail. well they stop us up about 40 yards from the venue doors, to give pit ppl wrist bands and i was like oh, 5th in line for that. which is good, it all evened out, right? shah. after they give us the wristbands which is a painstakingly long process, the running commences again to the closed doors for the seating area. It's 7:20 at this point and most of our group still hasn't gotten in. We don't know what door to go to since all doors lead to the pit. My idea is to spread out. I was at the center door. When the doors finally open at 7:32 we all of us go sprinting down the steps thru the place and i swear i thought i was gonna fall flat on me damn face. also i brilliantly picked the middle, without accounting for the sound board that blocks the path between orchestra and loge and had to make the quick right or left decision to get down to the pit. any other door had a direct path. but anyway, after all that, i ended up dead center. there were two big guys on the rail, but i was right behind them and had perfect view of center stage between their shoulders. i begged them to trade spots with me cuz they were crows fans and said i would move right after toad played. but they ignored me completely. but it was ok. despite having nothing to lean on, i had the best view in the whole damn place (except for the assholes in front of me). Toad was absolutely amazing. Top form. Way better than last week when they were still feeling their way around. They played mostly hits and/or rocking songs, because they are an opening act. but that was SO ok. I screamed like a goodber at the start and end of every song. I had NO shame. It was only like 35 minutes tho, and we were told it would be 50, which kinda pissed me off. But it was just great. I got sweaty and gross and felt awful after, tho. So i got the hell out of the venue for some air, a gigantic diet pepsi and a no salt soft pretzel. i met up with my friends (the not toad centered ones) and had some good conversation. relaxed a bit. i didn't go back in till right before Counting Crows came on and there was agood 45 minute interlude. my friend amber kept telling me how this concert was gonna make me love them, as before the show i really didn't care. Well i wasn't moved to tears or anything, but its an interesting show they put on. Adam is really into the audience...he kinda speaks a lot of the lyrics and lets the audience sing a lot too. The whole place was standing most of the show. I stood thru about 3 songs (long drawn out, you know) and then sat. Yes, in the pit. But i moved to the back against the rail. Next to two of the toad peeps. One of which was 6.5 months pregnant, so it's understandable. I sat there for oh, a good half hour, maybe 45 minutes. Couldn't see anything but the pretty stage decorations, and occassionally Adamns bobbing head could be seen thru the pit ppl. it was not so bad. I got up around 10 or 10:15, cuz i was told the curfew was 11 and they would have to stop playing then. It was right at the beginning of Long December which is a song i've always had a spot in my heart for, for reasons i won't get into. Adam was at the piano. It was really nice. Then a couple more songs went by, and it became clear they would play past 11. Then there drummer got sick and had to leave stage and they were all befuddled and didn't know what to do. they played a few songs with no drummer. at which point i went and sat down again, but only for a short while. i got up again when i heard the toad peeps cheering and saw that randy from toad had come on stage to help out with the drums...tho he had no idea what he was doing with their songs. maybe two songs left and they ended with...with...that one song...the big one...ack i can't think of it. not round here, the other one. but they brought glen up on stage too, and he didn't really know what to do. and a bunch of chicks came on stage too, family and whatnot. and a little girl on adams shoulders..a daughter? dunno. it was all very festive. and then it was over. crows were good. they played a bunch of songs i know from radio and from the jukebox at pineapple hill which always seems to be playing them. but i wasn't converted. i think a lot has to do with the audience of which i can safely say i would hate 90 percent of if i ever knew them. and yo. it was weird to see toad in a strictly opening act capacity. That i've never seen till last night. I saw them once at the HORDE festival in like 97 or something and they were early in the day and this was kinda like that, but not really. That's why i felt i needed to be so loud. i even sang. loudly. and i don't do that at concerts. yelled right into the ears of those guys on the rail in front of me...anyhoo...

i guess the whole process gets repeated again tonight. except the whole floor of the wiltern is now G.A. so it could be kinda nuts. I don't know when i should get there. or if there will be a place to sit. cuz i just can't handle standing for a whole show. i know that makes me old. and ALL the toad/crows shows are like this...standing. are the tori shows like that too? at least then i will actually have a seat to sit in if i choose...

god my whole body still hurts from last night.

i have to find breakfast. do laundry. shower. go to the bank. sleep if there's time. go to show. more later or tomorrow, as if this wasn't long enough....

its 9:50. i don't think i've ever written a 45 minute journal entry before...

sigh...

jessica called while i was in line at the wiltern. a scary proposition in it of itself as it is so ghetto overthere. i can't help it, i can't be cool in the ghetto. i get weird and scared and i clutch my purse like a freak. having a bunch of ppl around in line didn't help much either, as countingcrows fans, i think i already mentioned, suck ass. not sociable AT all. and my peeps didn't show up till like 6 and i was in line from like 4:30...oh but anyway. jessica called. from tempe to tell me she can't fly out to sandiego on friday. we were gonna do sandiego to tempe on the tori tour, spending the night in san diego, and two in vegas. now she says she might be able to fly to vegas on sunday morning. sunday freakin morning! what do i do in the meantime for her tickets to san diego and vegas. and our hotel rooms. i'm gonna stay in hotels by myself?!?!? san diego i can handle, but vegas, by myself? what the fuck! so she says maybe here sister (who lives here) can go with me. well fabulous. i like her sister well enough, but homegirl is only 20...what good does she do me in vegas. and besides, hours upon hours in the car with her...god...at least jessica have our own repetoir between us and can not talk if we don't feel like talking. nina and i aren't close enough for that yet. i am SO mad at jessica for springing this on me, like 30 hours before our plans commenced. nice, huh. and i JUST booked the room for san diego yesterday! ugh. i was too mad to talk to her, said she should call me in the morning as i was in line for a show. i really hope matters will be sorted out by then and magically resolved, cuz otherwise i'm gonna wring her freakin neck when next i see her. what the hell kinda shit is that to do to your supposed best friend?!?!? fuck.

so that colored my evening a bit. but i did get into the pit at the show tonight, so that made things a little better. i should explain the wiltern theater. its small...it used to have seats, now it doesn't. it was a movie house once upon a time so just a large orchestra, and a balcony with a mezzanine and a loge. but a few months ago, they ripped out all the seats. but because it slopes, there are tiers. the lowest tier is the pit. and even tho the whole floor (formerly orchestra)is g.a. the first however many ppl to show up can get into the pit. it kinda sucked because we were waiting for a couple of ppl to show up and my friend debbie had their tickets. so she left her husband chris outside with the tickets and we went in. so debbie and i were in the pit, while chris and the others did not. but anyway, while last night i was like in the second standing row of the pit and tonight i was in the third, i was MUCH closer tonight, because the band comes almost right to the edge of the stage, while last night they were back like 15 feet. anyhoo...i was close. cept the stage is tall and had to look straight up and my neck still hurts. it wasn't as hot as last nights pit, i guess cuz the a/c was colder, cuz we were totally packed in like sardines tonight. Toad was fantastic. they played a few more songs than last night, and glen even started to go into a beloved politcal rant, but cut himself short. they played amnesia, a great song that they haven't played yet this time around so i haven't heard it live before tonight for over five years...i called amber during it, and i think she was in class, or whatever, i'm pretty sure she didn't pick up and i just let it play on her voicemail...i hope that's not mean. hopefully it was intelligible...i had very little reception. oh well.

we left after toad. i know, that's evil. and i know i paid a lot of money for the ticket. but i just wasn't about to stand up all night again. neither were any of the ppl i was with (just a small group tonight). we were all tired and cranky pretty much. nothing against counting crows...just i'm gonna go to two more toad/crows shows. i can see them again if i want. plus i saw them last night so...

we went to the El Cholo restaurant after. its like the oldest mexican restaurant in l.a. i think. or something. est. 1923. very good food. and relatively cheap. we had interesting conversation because karine (no idea how to spell her name) is french. she flew from france to see toad. and said if Toad ever played in paris we could crash at her place. but anyway she's french which automatically makes her interesting and we spent most of dinner talking about differences between french and american people. debbie did a semester abroad in france ten years ago, and also went there on her honeymoon, so had lots to say. while i still don't so much know anybody but debbie (and even her pretty much only thru email and brief conversations at Largo when we see glen) so i was pretty quiet. interjecting where i could with tidbits about europe. but it was pleasant enough.

i was and am still pissed cuz of jessica. it just makes me all grrr. she better figure out something by tomorrow, or i swear if she shows up in vegas, i'm just gonna kick her in the head. what a freakshow she is. ugh.

ok, i best go to bed. altho now all that's been keeping me going has been taking away. i was looking forward to a vacation with my friend. now what do i got? sigh...

goodnight moon.